Why a child uses vulgarisms.



Children are the same as adults in some ways. They are human beings and have their personalities that are being shaped under certain circumstances. Sometimes we are wondering how it is possible that a three-year-old speaks a foul language.


First of all, we must ask ourselves how clean is our parlance. From the day when baby says its first words, it is learning lexis quicker that you can imagine. Sometimes parents are surprised where the words that their child uses come from. The fundamental principle that all parents must remember is that every child is like a sponge. Soaking everything that happens around. In this instance, the first people who child starts follow are its parents and older siblings.

If you use vulgarisms in front of your baby, you can be almost sure that at some point (sooner rather than later) you will hear it from its mouth.


What then? Well... There are few situations your reaction should depend on. If your child is very little - let say 3-5 years old, then probably the best option is to ignore this event when you hear it for the first time. But if this kind of behaviour relates to an older child (seven years old plus) you should have a conversation. Of course, if you speak dirty words yourself and you have proven this in the past, the discussion may be harder than you think.     


You will have to explain to your child why this kind of wording is not elegant and it can be perceived as offensive towards others.

Summarising this point, your child uses vulgarisms because you do it. If very small, then doesn't even understand what it all means. When it's older, it probably thinks that it's ok to speak like that. Why it would not be if mum or dad do the same thing.


The second reason for using a boorish speech by children is that they try to make themselves look older than they really are in the group of friends. They want to be "fashionable" and cool. In this case, you have to be very strict and let your child know that this is not acceptable and consequences may occur. At the same time you have to control your nerves and under no circumstances lose your temper. If emotions take control over you, your child can use it against you in the future.


It is because children also avail vulgarisms to gather attention.

When the child is about four or five, then it's involuntary. No matter how funny it sounds when a toddler says "for f*** sake.", you cannot laugh. Your reflex reaction like laughter can encourage your child for using bad language only because it thinks that it is pleasing to you and starts some interaction. If we consider children above a certain age, any immediate, negative feedback on your side will also be perceived as being more attentive that normally.


Considering the whole vulgarism subject, we still have to remember what is the purpose of using them in adults. Most of the time we speak grubby when experiencing negative emotions or events. It can happen to anyone regardless of age. It's expression of our annoyance and anger. And we have to understand, that our children also can face irritating situations and have to deal with them to avoid the craziness. What you could do to help your child coping with these feelings is to redirect his attention to something that is pleasant. If this won't help and your child tends to carry on with vulgarisms, the best choice would be to compromise with him and agree on the acceptable swearwords. One of the examples is that it would be allowed to say "Holy crap" instead of something else. Of course, the explanation is essential, and you will have to put some effort in it. However, your child is intelligent and want to be rewarded for its behaviour. 


The most important and the very last thing is that you have to lead by an example. Never expect your baby to follow the rules that you don't follow. Be its mentor and authority. Always speak with your child about behaviours that concern you and draw the line. Be clear on what is acceptable and what potential actions will be taken if a bad habit is carried on. Never assault, stay calm and present yourself as a parent with solid value system. It is needed for your child to grow up smart and moral. 


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